Sitting in that room waiting to go into surgery may be just as bad as sitting in the surgical waiting room. I am not sure which is worse. I was successful in my attempt in breaking in early only to sit from 9:30 until now waiting for the surgeon to come and get him. As I sat there, Tony was increasingly getting worse. It is like watching the sand slowly dropping through the hourglass (not in the Days of our Lives kind of way but in a miserable way) and that is exactly what it is like seeing his energy being sapped from his body. Each surgery day seems to take a little bit more out of him and also robs me of my strength. His stomach was hurting and he was sweating so I called his mom back in (she is a hospice nurse) so as to help me monitor his signs and see what we would need to ask the nurses on duty. As I sit here waiting for Luke to come back from his short escapade to REI to pass the time, I sip on an MGD (say goodbye to no medicinal alcohol...that surely seems to have passed...I may as well have one of those plastic hard hats that sit on your head that holds two beers and you use a sippy straw so you can booze it anytime you want) and think about how one week ago, we were just getting to the lake and the Lombardos, Tony and I were loading up the boat for some good old fashioned tubing and wakeboarding. How poorly that night ended.
We are now in the waiting game again, and this time it is not in hopes of keeping fingers or a hand, but in hopes that the infection hasn't spread and Tony can move forward and learn how live with just his left hand (thank god he is a southpaw) and regain his strength and spirit. I am trying hard to be strong, but am snapping at people and trying to hold it together when really I want to lay on floor and just cry until there in nothing left inside. How did this happen? How did I get here? When have I ever wanted to write a blog and tell everyone how I feel inside? Life can change so fast you just never know when it will so you have to be ready at all times I guess.
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Tina - Wow - I just heard about this from Kim Emanuel. I am thinking of you guys. Whatever you need, let us know. I'm gone through 10/4 - but i can dog sit, house sit, clean, whatever when you are ready. Geesh - I just spoke to Kelli and Aaron right before youu guys went down to the lake and was hoping you all were going to Blues and Brews. Anyway - know I am thinking of you.
ReplyDeleteNancy B.
Thanks Nancy. This has been harder than I can ever have imagined and it hasn't even started yet. Just think positive to get through the surgery today and hopefully this will be one of the last. I just want him to wake up. That is all.
ReplyDeletewe are painfully waiting with you. I so much want your next post to be like - hell yeah we are coming home it's all good. be strong.
ReplyDeleteDana
T n T,
ReplyDeleteLani and I love you both so much. We are both thinking about you, and sending our positive energy. It is undoubtedly going to be a tough recovery, but if anyone can do it, it is you Tony. I am certain this will make you stronger. I can't express how grateful I am to have you both in my life. Scotty
Tina and Tony-
ReplyDeleteI am thinking of you guys everyday. My heart goes out to both of you. The blog is great, as I am checking every hour of the day. It really helps. Stay strong! I know that both of you will get through this. I love you guys!
Tessa
My fingers are crossed and thumbs are pressed. You are both rock stars.
ReplyDeleteAs they say here,
I Wishie You Best of Ruck.
i love you. xoxox stephers
Just thinking about standing next to uncle ton at the alter. Watching you walk down the beach… thanks for letting me marry you and ton….. what a gift. You are not the only one drinking tonight. suannaQ..and matty
ReplyDeleteTina,
ReplyDeleteYou are doing an incredible job. You must now be strong for both of you. Do not think of the past; your lives will be forever changed, but God, your family, and your friends are here to give you the strength and the means to get through it, and to head into what truly will be the best years of your lives. Victor was 18 months old when I suddenly became a single parent. I was lost and confused; I didn't know what to do the next day or the next. But slowly the answers came, and we now share a relationship that I could never have imagined possible on that terrible day 22 years ago. We are all here to help you.
Our love to both of you,
Greg and Victor