it is so hot in this "tropical healing" room....

Breathe deep and try to keep positive. This is all I can do right now. It is funny, the past week all I have been concerned about is my husband living and breathing. Now that part is over, it is on the next healing step which is actually thinking about him doing everyday stuff without his hand. This proved harder for me last night than I thought...not because of the loss of hand, but how much pain he will go through accepting this as a new way of life. I thought of all the things you need that hand for and those thoughts weighed so heavy on my heart I could barely stand it. Yet I have to try and keep it strong and focused on all the good things like it really is just a hand and after six months, he will be so used to it, it will be second nature. But I know until that time comes we have such a long road of anger, frustration, sadness and loss. Each day will bring a new challenge for my husband in ways I never thought about but I know with our strength together we can get through it. I think the first days home (and without bandages on...) will be the hardest because here in Denver, we are still not facing real life. We are sheltered from everyday tasks and have minimal contact with the outside world.
Each day when you walk around the hospital whether it is ambling to the cafeteria at 7 am to get coffee or midnight to just have a walkabout, you see so many people that are in such worse conditions and families whose hearts are broken into a million pieces on the waiting room floor. You stroll by on your way to get a cup of ice and hear snippets of conversation:
"will be brain dead for life"
"has full facial mobility but will never be able to move"
"is undetermined whether she will ever wake up"
and you are immediately thanking a higher power that that particular doctor is not yours. You actually have a hot German doctor who has told you your husband will fully recover, just not with a hand. You then wander back to the hospital room filled with loved ones and support and realize watching The Biggest Loser all night on TV with your husband is just the night you have been looking forward to all along.