First day alone...

It is a blustery Sunday morning and when I look out the window, I can see the snow has started covering the mountains. Tony has packed up the car and is picking up Luke Hansen to head to Denver today to pick up his first prototype prosthesis. This has been a long, hard week and I didn't think about how it would feel for Tony to leave and the fears it would bring up as well as some logistics about things. I now realize this is how Tony's folks and my mom must feel everytime we leave. I try to be rational and know that you can't live your life in fear of what may happen, but the thought of it looms heavy on your heart. The last time we were apart, Tony was in ICU and I was in a hotel across the street with my heart pounding with constant worry and fear. Being separtated for the first time, all these fears are welling up inside me, but I am also very excited for Tony to have some time with his friend and to feel that kind of freedom that a prosthetic will bring him.
The logistics of the trip and the driving situation was something neither one of us thought of until just a few days ago. Our truck that we used to only use for camping and hauling is now the only car Tony can drive, and I have to say it is big. Huge actually and when he thought about actually trying to drive it with one hand in Denver, he automatically told me he was taking my car. I then reminded him that it was stick shift and that he couldn't drive that either. It wasn't a tragedy and we are lucky to even have two cars and quickly asked Luke if he minded driving the Honda for Tony. These things don't seem like a big deal, but it is a reminder of what Tony lost forever and that he does have to make changes in his life on so many different levels. Luke is driving it for him, but I know that Tony doesn't like to be able not to drive his own car and not have to feel like feeling like he can't do something, but unfortunetly, that is his reality with some things. Learning how to deal with these kind of everyday changes makes you realize how lucky we in fact do have it....we don't have to sell our cars for a wheelchair adapted van or sell our house for the same reason. We also have good friends that are willing to help in this kind of situation and rally out the drive for Tony.
Life has changed in so many different ways these past few weeks and adapting to it can sometimes be hard, but you just have to keep your chin up and move forward and just make the changes that need to happen one at a time....